Silencing the Voice of the Accuser

There are times when I feel the weight (pronounced "embarassment") of being called to be a misfit... called to care for misfits. I hear the old self-abusive/ self-destructive voices that say, "See... it's just like you feared. You are a 'misfit' in the church simply because you can't 'cut it' at this professional pastor thing."

But then I read (or actually have read to me by my Spiritual Director... Thanks, Jim) a passage like this from Scripture. "David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father's household heard about it, they went down to him there. All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander..." (1 Sam. 22:1-2)

That describes a bunch of misfits if there ever was one. And, I am comforted that one of the great heroes of our faith, King David, at one of the lowest points of his life (on the run from King Saul) was sought out by the distressed, debt-ridden and discontented. He was a misfit himself and he became their leader.

Maybe I'm not good enough, or smart enough, to be a professional pastor (Lord knows I've tried...) but in the end that is something for others to judge. It is not even relevant because the truth of the matter is that my calling is something different (and that is why I am a 'misfit' with the clergy-types). I need to remember who I am, not the role that I am expected to play. I need to remember David (and for that matter Jesus himself who was always going to the sorrowful, damaged, struggling, sinful... because, "it is the sick who need a doctor..."). And, I need to pray that the Lord will put Satan under my feet whenever he comes with those ridiculous accusations and distractions.